Relevant Sin

Lately I have come to a realization that sin is irrelevant.
My Pater, My Daddy, is not disappointed in my weakness, in my messiness, in my sinfulness
He knows all and is not at all surprised by anything.
If He was surprised or disappointed, He wouldn't be God

God used the sin of Rahab the harlot to bring glory to His name
He used a harlot, a hooker, a whore. Why?

Maybe because:
In 1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.'"

Become Complete Without Lack

When these more infatuated moments come upon me
I choose to give in to give up.
This strong-ness you claim to have given upon me
I claim to you, within you

This struggle deep within
Fighting, gnawing, biting
Do I believe it to be joy
To become joy

My joy comes from the trust
Trust of not my own
To fight for this weakened self

These struggles call to remembrance
I need not fight
For Thee fight for me

His trust is in me
For I trust upon with heart, soul, mind

I need not worry
I fall with your strength upon me
Your belief in me
to believe in you

Becoming complete
Without a lack
In You

(Inspiration: James 1:2-4; 1 Corinthians 10:12-13)

God's Will

What is God's will?
In my life specifically, does He do specifics?
Does He care what I exactly do,
As long as I am loving Him with my heart, soul, and mind?
Is that all He cares about?
Is that all You want from me?
Is everything else relative?

I Need Not Try

I try, I try, I try.
And I fail.

In my brokenness
In my weakness
In my unhappiness
In my unloveliness
Even In my sinfulness
you use me.

You use me when I'm not trying.
I'm at peace when I'm not trying.
I'm at a loss for words when I'm not trying.
I feel Your presence when I'm not trying.

You use me,
even if it causes me to become weak, dirty, messy, helpless, homeless, broken.
For Your Glory. Your Glory alone.
I need not try.

A Broken Mess (dictionary.com)

bro·ken

/ˈbroʊkən/ [broh-kuhn]
–verb
1. pp. of break. –adjective
2. reduced to fragments; fragmented.
3. ruptured; torn; fractured.
4. not functioning properly; out of working order.
5. changing direction abruptly
6. fragmentary or incomplete
7. infringed or violated
8. interrupted, disrupted, or disconnected
9. weakened in strength, spirit, etc.:
10. imperfectly spoken, as language
11. spoken in a halting or fragmentary manner, as under emotional strain
12. not smooth; rough or irregular
13. ruined; bankrupt


mess

/mɛs/ [mes]
1. a dirty, untidy, or disordered condition
2. a person or thing that is dirty, untidy, or disordered.
3. a state of embarrassing confusion
4. a dirty or untidy mass, litter, or jumble
5. a person whose life or affairs are in a state of confusion, esp. a person with a confused or disorganized moral or psychological outlook. –verb (used with object)
6. to make dirty or untidy (often fol. by up).
7. to make a mess or muddle of (affairs, responsibilities, etc.) (often fol. by up)
8. to make a dirty or untidy mess. —Verb phrases
9. mess up,
a. to make dirty, untidy, or disordered.
b. to make muddled, confused, etc.; make a mess of; spoil; botch.
c. to perform poorly; bungle

Admitance of Incompetence

More and more I realize how foolish I truly am
But everyday I wake and try to think I can.
Days and days go by but I'm still in that same spot
Wondering when oh when oh when will I use what I got.

I know I am a broken mess
Though I still try to fix it.
But should use myself a bit less
Though that is where i sit.

He has me, holds me, works on me still
I sit, I bask, He becomes even more real